The Secret Life of Spencer Reid
by sexysnake
Summary: Every one has secrets even Dr. Reid
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

In just over six years with the BAU Dr. Spencer Reid had been awakened by his cell phone ringing to notify him of a new case twenty-three times. If he had ever stopped to think about it he would have said that on average twenty-three times was a remarkably small number. Then again that number didn't include the dozens of times that he'd been awaken by his phone ringing while on cases over the years. After six years Reid's body and mind had become conditioned to be completely awake by the second ring.

That's why Reid wasn't surprised when he was awakened by his phone in the middle of the night while on a case. Flinging one arm out he groped blindly around the bedside table for his phone. Once he located the phone he pressed the talk button "Yeah, Reid. What do we have?"

"**Spencer its Judy, there…there's been an accident."**

Using the side of his fist and part of his forearm Reid pounded on Hotch's door five times in quick succession. When he didn't get an immediate answer he pounded on the door again. This time he heard a muffled thump and cursing from inside the room before Hotch yanked the door open. "What? What happened? Reid what's going on?"

Anxious to be on his way Reid shifted from foot to foot. "I have to go…family emergency. I'm sorry Hotch…I…I have to go." Leaving Hotch standing in his hotel doorway half awake and very confused Reid jogged down the hall to the elevator.

Wrapping his arms around himself Reid stared at the heavy oak front door. He knew he needed to knock, needed to let them know he had arrived. No matter how hard he tried**, **though**,** he just couldn't make himself raise his arm. There was this little voice in the back of his head that kept screaming that if he didn't knock then this wouldn't be real.

Reid was still staring at the door when it suddenly opened. A frail petite woman in her early fifties started to step out only to stop and gasp when she saw him standing there. "Oh! Spencer you're…thank you for…." Taking a deep breath the woman squared he shoulders. "Go on in, she's in the den."

The overly exaggerated sound effects of cartoons could be heard as Reid slowly made his way into the den. He could see her from where he stood just inside the doorway. She was laying on her back on the sofa with her head turned toward the TV. The arm of the sofa had pushed her glasses sideways at an angle that he knew made it impossible for her to actually see the animated bears frolicking on the screen.

For the first time in a long time Reid had to fight the urge to run. Instead he made himself walk to the far end of the sofa. Clearing his throat he whispered. "Danni."

The little girl reacted immediately. Scrambling to her feet on the sofa she launched herself at Reid. Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist she buried her face against his chest. "Oh Daddy, Mommy died!"

His daughter's heart wrenching declaration destroyed Reid's tenuous control. Cradling Danni against his chest he finally allowed the tears he had been fighting for hours to flow. Grief, not just for Lila's death but for Danni's loss**, **threatened to overwhelm him. "I know baby. I'm so sorry."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Reid was trying to figure out how to open the door to his apartment while balancing a backpack, two carry-on bags, his messenger bag and a barely conscious four year old. Just as he was about to give up and drop the bags someone pulled his keys out of his hand. Reaching past Reid the person unlocked the door and pushed it open. That's when Reid recognized his neighbor from across the hall. "Thank you so much Miranda."

Shrugging_,_ Miranda reached for the bags**,** quickly sliding them off Reid's shoulder. "No problem honey."

As usual Miranda's casual use of an endearment toward him flustered Reid slightly. However before he could even try to stammer a reply the sleepy child in his arms raised her head. "Daddy**,** I'm hungry."

Surprised at hearing the little girl in her neighbor's arms call him 'Daddy**,**' Miranda took a step back. In the little over a year that she and Spencer had known each other he had never mentioned having a daughter. She couldn't help feeling a little hurt and angry that he had withheld such a significant piece of information. She would have to sit down later and figure out exactly why she felt so hurt. Right now though it was obvious that Spencer needed help. The man rarely had much of anything edible in his apartment to begin with and after being gone for almost three weeks there definitely wouldn't be anything.

Shaking off her hurt**,** Miranda reached out and lay her hand on the little girl's back. "Hey sweetie, my name is Miranda, what's your name?"

The girl rubbed her eyes as she sat up in Reid's arms. "My name is Lillian Dianna Archer-Reid. Please don't call me Lily though, I go by Danni."

Miranda had to fight the urge to laugh. Any doubt she may have had as to the child's paternity had just been answered. Only Spencer Reid's child would give that detailed of an answer to such a simple question. "Well Danni**,** how about pancakes for breakfast?"

Nodding**,** Danni smiled. "Pancakes would be great for me but Daddy needs coffee, lots and lots of coffee."

Once Danni was settled in on Miranda's sofa watching cartoons**,** Reid joined Miranda in the kitchen. He couldn't help but smile when he saw that she had already set out his extra large mug and the sugar. However, his smile slipped when he realized that she actually had a mug that he had used so often that he considered it his. "I know I owe you an explanation but…"

Miranda ladled pancake batter onto the hot griddle before sitting the mixing bowl down hard. "Oh you don't owe me anything." When Spencer cringed she sighed and forced herself to relax. "Seriously Spencer**,** you don't owe me an explanation. Don't get me wrong I'd love to know the whole story but you aren't obligated to tell me."

Leaning against the counter Reid wrapped his arms around himself. "Lila didn't want me to tell anyone about Danni. She said her career would have Danni in the spotlight enough that it would be too easy for an UNSUB to find her and use her against me. Her reasoning still made sense even though she stopped acting soon after Danni was born."

Spencer's obvious pain broke Miranda's heart. Reaching out she squeezed his arm in comfortingly. When he didn't react she reached up and tipped his head back just enough to look him in the eye. "Hey**,** you did what you thought was best for your daughter and you respected her mother's wishes."

Reid blinked once before turning away and pouring himself a cup of coffee. He just couldn't face Miranda and her reassurances right now. He'd never felt right about Lila's request to hide Danni's existence but he'd gone along with it anyways. Now Lila was dead, killed by a drunk driver**,** and he had sole custody of a four year old daughter that he had never spent longer then a week at a time with.

Instead of pressing Spencer to keep talking**,** Miranda turned her attention back to finishing breakfast. She had meant it when she told Spencer that he didn't owe her any kind of explanation. She was his friend and knowing about Danni wasn't going to change that fact. Well, maybe one thing would change. She'd have to start buying more groceries because**,** genius though he was, Spencer Reid was a nightmare in the kitchen. Smirking**,** Miranda dished up the last of the pancakes and set the plate on the table before calling into the living room. "Danni**,** it**'**s breakfast time!"


	3. Chapter 3

_**First off I want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews. This is my first fan fiction and I was a nervous wreck about actually posting. I also want to take a second to thank Sussiray, hotchityhotchhotch, PrincessAltheia, and pinkprincesspru for all of their help and encouragement. I couldn't have done this without you girls.**_

Chapter3

By the time they got back to Reid's apartment after breakfast Danni was already asleep and Reid was exhausted. Between Danni having nightmares the last few nights and then an early flight that morning, neither had gotten much sleep lately. However, no sooner had he gotten Danni settled in his bed for a nap then someone started knocking. Pulling the bedroom door shut he rushed to answer the door before the noise woke Danni up. Half way across the living room his foot caught on the shoulder strap of his messenger bag. In the few seconds it took him to untangle his foot the persistent knocking changed to insistent pounding. Finally reaching the door, Reid yanked it open and nearly got punched in the nose when Emily Prentiss brought her hand up to pound on his door again. "Whoa, Emily!"

Luckily Emily was able to lower her hand in time, and instead of punching Reid in the nose she ended up shoving him in the chest hard. Unfortunately Emily, and the whole team for that matter, had been worried sick about Reid for over two weeks. And when Emily Prentiss worried, she got mad. "Where the HELL have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we've been?"

Already off balance Reid stumbled backwards when Emily shoved him in the chest. Tripping over his messenger bag again, he landed hard on his butt in the middle of his living room floor. Stunned, startled, and a bit scared of the way Emily's right hand was gripping the butt of her gun, Reid lay back on the floor and tried not to make any sudden moves. "C…Can you please move your hand away from your gun before I answer?

The slight tremor of fear in Reid's voice finally penetrated Emily's worry and anger. Looking down she realized that he was almost cowering on the floor. Stepping back, she sighed before moving to sit on the sofa. "Where have you been, Spencer? You bailed in the middle of a case with no real explanation. We've all been worried sick. Garcia checked, your parents are fine and you don't have any other family."

Slowly sitting up, Reid folded his legs so he was sitting Indian style on the floor in front of Emily with the coffee table between them. A part of him was angry that Garcia had contacted either of his parents. However another part was actually comforted knowing that his team had cared, had actually worried enough to try to check on him. "I'm sorry I worried you guys, but… the last…well the last eighteen days have…they've been hard."

A sudden high pitched scream from the back of the apartment startled Emily. She was even more startled when Reid scrambled clumsily to his feet and all but ran out of the room. The scream and Reid's reaction combined to caused Emily's earlier worry to return tenfold. Shock and worry actually slowed her reactions down to the point that she was almost a full thirty seconds behind Reid as she followed him down the hall.

Reid didn't even take time to think when he heard Danni scream, he simply reacted. He vaguely registered that Emily had jumped up and was following him but he didn't care. All he could think about was getting to Danni.

Reaching the door to what she assumed was Reid's bedroom Emily froze. She wasn't sure what she had expected to find but the sight before her would have never crossed her mind. Reid was standing next to the bed holding a little girl with long blonde hair tightly to his chest while talking to her softly. "Reid?"

Instead of answering Emily, Reid crossed the room and shut the door in her face. He knew she'd be pissed but frankly he'd worry about that later. Comforting Danni was his sole priority and he really didn't want an audience.

Once Danni was calm and settled into bed, again Reid went to face Emily. Halfway to the living room, Morgan's advice to never piss off a woman that carried a gun started running through his mind. That coupled with the fact that even before he had slammed the bedroom door in her face Emily had been mad enough to instinctively reach for her gun had Reid seriously wished he had a spare Kevlar vest handy. It wasn't so much that he actually though Emily might shoot him; it was just a desire to be prepared.

Peeking into the living room from the hall Reid was surprised to see Emily sitting on the sofa looking calm and relaxed. "Have you calmed down enough not to shoot me before I can explain everything?"

Rubbing her hands on her thighs Emily gave Reid a tight smile. Yes, she was a bit pissed, but truthfully she was more worried and hurt. "Don't worry, I'm not going to shoot you, Reid, too much paperwork involved. I did however call the team for you though. Everyone is on their way over so you only have to explain everything once."

For the first time in years Reid actually squeaked. "The whole team?" It was all Reid could do not to whimper in fear when Emily nodded. It wasn't the team's reaction to finding out that he was a father that scared him though. They'd be hurt and disappointed that he had hidden such an important detail but after what happened with Foyet, surely they would understand. No, what truly scared him was the thought of what Garcia was going to do to him for depriving her of four and half years worth of spoiling Danni. "Umm…couldn't you just shoot me instead?"


	4. Chapter 4

_**I want to take a second to thank everyone that has reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story. You're all giving me a real boost of confidence in my writing ability. **_

_**An extra special Thank You to hotchityhotchhotch, sussiray, and pinkprincesspru for holding my hand every time I start to panic. Love ya bunches girls.**_

Chapter 4

Reid stared at his co-workers sitting around his living room and tried not to fidget too badly. Each of their faces showed varying degrees of curiosity and worry. It was that worry that was currently making his stomach hurt. In the last seven years these people had become more then just his co-workers. They were his friends, his family, and he had spent almost five and a half years lying to them. Granted it was a lie of omission, but it was still a lie nonetheless. "I…ahhh….I've lied…I've lied to all of you. I'm sorry, I know you're going to be mad and you have every right to be. If I could change it I would but…"

Cutting himself off mid-ramble, Reid groaned as he rubbed his face with both hands. He was making a total mess of things and he knew it. Lowering his hands, Reid sighed. "Ok long story short, I have a daughter, her name is Danni, she's four years old and eighteen days ago her mother Lila was killed by a drunk driver. Lila's only family is her mother who has stage 4 breast cancer so I now have sole custody of a four year old daughter that until now I've never spent more then a week at a time with."

Complete silence reined after Reid's blurted confession. Each second that ticked by made the knot of apprehension in his stomach tighten a little bit more. Every insecurity he had ever harbored started coming back tenfold. Had he been wrong, was this more then they could forgive? After everything they had been though, was this what was finally going to make them turn their backs on him?

Leaning forward Morgan glared at his best friend. "So what, you and Lila Archer have been involved for over five years, the two of have a kid together, and this is the first we're hearing about it?"

For all that Morgan sounded calm, years of friendship allowed Reid to hear the controlled fury in Morgan's voice. "Not…umm…not exactly."

Reid's evasive answer was enough to snap Morgan's control. Balling his hands into fists, he lunged to his feet. "Then what **exactly** is it man, cause from where I'm standing it sounds like you did the exact same thing **your** father did." Ignoring Garcia's shocked gasp and Emily's strict _'Morgan!' _He took an angry step toward Reid. "It sounds to me, like you abandoned your child and her mother!"

Morgan's words hit Reid like a punch to the gut. However, instead of cringing away, and curling into himself like he usually did when attacked, Reid got angry. Straightening his shoulders Reid pulled himself up to his full six foot one inch height. Conscious of his daughter asleep in the other room, he didn't yell, but there was no mistaking the fierce anger in his voice. "I am **nothing** like William Reid. I tried, Morgan. For four years I have begged and pleaded for every second I could get with my daughter. Lila demanded that I not tell anyone about Danni. She said her career put Danni in enough danger without taking the chance that some psychopath that we didn't catch would come after her as a way to get to me and this team. I couldn't take the chance that she would try to keep Danni from me completely."

Snorting Morgan rolled his eyes. As far as he was concerned Reid was full of it. If it had been him, nothing would have kept him away from his child. Taking a deep breath he was about to go off on Reid once again only to be interrupted by Emily. "Derek you need to back off. You're way out of line and you know it."

Garcia didn't even try to fight the tears streaming down her face. Right then her heart was breaking for her poor genius. She just couldn't wrap her mind around Lila trying to minimize Reid's contact with his daughter. "Why? How could she think you publicly acknowledging your daughter would put her in danger?"

Still glaring at Morgan, Reid grabbed one of the high stools from the bar separating his living room and kitchen. Sitting down he hooked his heels on the top rung of the stool, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "We had already decided that we would be better off as friends when she found out she was pregnant. She kind of freaked out, we both did honestly. Then just when we were starting to get used to the idea, Randall Gardner framed Elle for murder, mailed Gideon a head in a box, and then shot Elle. After that, Elle killed a suspect, probably in cold blood, and then there was Hankle and what happened in the aftermath of that case. Then Frank slaughtered Sarah, and Gideon left, and everything just kept snowballing..."

Rossi had to raise his voice a little to be heard over Reid's almost panicked dialog. "Reid you could have fought her, a judge would have ruled in your favor."

Reid couldn't stop himself from snorting and rolling his eyes. "Oh yes, I'm sure a judge would have jumped to the chance to grant a socially awkward, possibly schizophrenic, workaholic, former drug addict partial custody of a child." As soon as Reid realized exactly what he had said he slapped his hand over his mouth. Never once in almost five years had he directly admitted to his team that he had become addicted to the Dilaudid that Tobias Hankle had injected him with for two days. "Hotch, I…"

Raising a hand to silence Reid, Hotch shook his head. "I've known all along Reid. If I had wanted to use the information against you I'd have done it years ago. Besides that we're all here as your friends, not as your boss and co-workers."

Shoulders slumping in relief as everyone including Morgan nodded in agreement, Reid gave a tentative smile. "Thanks guys, that…ahhh…that means a lot."

As mad as Morgan still was, he couldn't place the blame solely on Reid. He still thought Reid should have fought harder to be a bigger part of his daughter's life. However, it sounded like Lila had gone out of her way to make it difficult for the man to have any kind of relationship with the girl. "Reid, man I'm sorry."

Nodding, Reid laughed softly. "Shock often causes a person to react more extremely then they would under more normal circumstances." Looking Morgan in the eye, Reid's voice became fierce once again. "But know this; from the minute Lila laid Danni in my arms, she has been the most important person in my life. I may not be 'Father of the Year' but there is nothing I wouldn't do, no one I wouldn't take on, to take care of and protect my daughter."

Wiping the last trace of tears from under her eyes Garcia smiled. She was glad her boys had made up but there were now more important matters to address. "So…When do we get to meet the little princess, Daddy Genius? I have four and half years of missed spoiling to make up for."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Something was tickling the end of Reid's nose. His first thought was that he needed to start pulling his hair back before bed to keep it out of his face while he slept. It was as he was reaching up to push his hair off his face that he woke up enough to remember that he had cut his hair short months ago. Opening his eyes Reid found himself literally nose to nose with a small blurry face. It was all he could do not to scream as he scrambled upright and backwards across the bed. "Whoa…What the…You can't do things like that Danni. You scared the heck out of me."

Giggling, Danni climbed up onto Reid's bed. Bouncing in place she reached out and poked him in the stomach. "You have to wake up though Daddy. You said you would get me enrolled in school today."

For a minute all Reid could do was stare bleary eyed at the hyper four year old in front of him and grumble about overly cheerful morning people. When Danni just giggled again, Reid tossed the blankets over her head and flipped her sideways over his legs. As Danni laughed and fought to untangle herself from the sheet and blanket Reid grabbed his glasses off his nightstand. That's when he got a look at the clock. Groaning**,** he flopped back onto his back. "Danni, the school doesn't even open until 7:45, we have two and a half hours!"

After a short bout of tickling Danni for waking him up so early, Reid sent her to get dressed while he showered and dressed. Unfortunately that was the last part of the morning that went smoothly. Once Reid was dressed, Danni asked him to pull her hair up in 'pig-tails'. It sounded like a simple enough request at first. However, no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't seem to get the two ponytails even. Finally after a lot of pouting from both of them Reid managed to convince Danni to keep her hair down.

Once the hair fiasco was resolved Reid tried to make a simple breakfast of instant oatmeal. Usually he just used the microwave to heat a mug full of water and fixed his oatmeal directly in the mug. However, today he thought that since he needed enough hot water for both his and Danni's breakfast that it would be easier to heat the water in a pan on the stove. The problem was that he forgot about the pan of water until it had almost boiled dry. When he realized that the pan was seconds away from burning he grabbed it off the burner. In the process he managed to burn his hand on the hot pan. Instinctively he dropped the pan which hit the floor and splashed what little boiling hot water was left in the pan onto his right foot.

By the time someone knocked on his door at quarter to seven**,** Reid was ready to crawl back into bed and hide. First-aide kit tucked firmly under his arm, Reid hobbled to the door. Opening the door**,** he stood there and stared at Miranda for several seconds before limping to the side and motioning her inside. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you."

It took all of Miranda's self control not to laugh when Spencer opened the door. The poor guy looked like 'frazzled' defined. Judging by the way his hair was standing up he had been running his fingers through it repeatedly and for some reason he was missing his right shoe and sock. She could see Danni sitting on the sofa across the room and even from the doorway Miranda could tell that she was very unhappy. "Wow, not a good morning, huh?"

Carefully limping over to the sofa, Reid sat down and propped his burned foot up on the coffee table. "You have no idea."

Before Reid could go into detail about everything that had gone wrong so far that morning, Danni interrupted. "Daddy forgot the pan on the stove and burned his foot. Can you do pig-tails Miranda, cause Daddy can't."

The look on Danni's face was Miranda's undoing. Snorting and laughing Miranda shook her head. "Yeah I can do pig-tails. You have to promise me something first though. You need to give your Daddy a break. He may be super smart but he's still a boy and boys tend to be clueless when it comes to everything it takes to make a girl pretty."

Nodding vigorously, Danni hopped off the sofa. "I can do that, if you, and Emmy, and Garcie and JJ will teach Daddy how to do pig-tails."

While Danni hurried off to retrieve her hair brush and hair bands, Reid sat staring at his foot. He'd had a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach since Saturday afternoon and it was steadily getting worse.

_After over an hour of explaining and promising to call if he needed anything Reid had finally been able to shoo most of his team out of his apartment. Morgan and Garcia had refused to budge__**,**__ though. They were both determined to 'help' redo his home office into a bedroom for Danni whether he wanted them to or not. At first all Reid had been able to do was stare in a bizarre mix of fascination and horror as Garcia had started directing Morgan on where to move what furniture. Half an hour later, Garcia, who had declared the dust bunnies lurking in the corners of Reid's apartment as "Full grown Night of the Lepus sized rabbits that I need a whip and chair to tame," had been busy dusting every inch of the living room, while Reid and Morgan tried to find a way to rearrange Reid's furniture to move his desk and bookcases into the living room._

_Just when Reid had almost convinced Morgan and Garcia that he could finish rearranging things on his own, two things happened__**:**__ Danni woke up and JJ knocked on his front door. For the next few hours Reid had barely been able to get a word in edgewise as JJ and Garcia had cooed and fawned over Danni. _

_Sunday morning Reid was awakened by Emily knocking on his door. She had brought breakfast with her because she knew that Reid hadn't had an opportunity to go grocery shopping since he and Danni had gotten home. By the time Emily, Reid, and Danni had finished the doughnuts Emily had brought__**,**__ JJ had arrived once again. Despite Reid's protests__**,**__ JJ and Emily had insisted on taking Reid and Danni grocery shopping. Of course__**,**__ grocery shopping had turning into a shopping trip for everything the ladies deemed _necessities _for a four year old little girl._

Rubbing his hands on his thighs, Reid whispered. "Everyone knew I was going to be a complete failure at this, didn't they? That's why everyone has been hovering around since Danni and I got home. That's why you're here this morning isn't it?"

Spencer's forlorn tone and self-deprecating question stunned Miranda. Quickly sitting on the edge of the coffee table**,** she reached out and laid a hand on Spencer's forearm. "No…God no, sweetheart! Spencer, we all have complete confidence in your abilities as a dad**.** We…I…I never meant to make you doubt yourself; I was just trying to help. Did you really think that we were all hovering around waiting for you to mess up?"

Moving his arm, Reid grasped Miranda's hand. Squeezing her fingers lightly he nodded. "Actually, yeah I did but, if you weren't expecting me to fail miserably, why exactly are you here?"

Squeezing Spencer's fingers**,** Miranda started to say something only to stop as Danni skipped back into the living room. Instead she yanked her hand out of Spencer's so fast he actually jumped. "I…ahhh…I'll explain later. Right now let me get Danni's hair fixed, and then I can give you a ride to the elementary school if you want."

As stressed out as he had been all morning, Reid couldn't help smiling at Danni. It wasn't technically her first day of school; she had started school in California, back in August. However, she was still so excited about getting to start school here in Quantico that she couldn't sit still as Reid and Miranda filled out all of the paper work to get her enrolled.

Reid remembered being just as excited as Danni on his first day of school. Granted**,** his excitement had only lasted a short while. Twenty-three minutes into class that first day Joey Martinez had called him a know-it-all freak and the other children had quickly joined in on making fun of him for his intelligence. He had always excelled at school but he had never truly enjoyed it or been excited about it again until a year and a half ago when he had gone back for his degree in philosophy.

While Danni was just as intelligent as he had been at her age, Reid wasn't worried about her fitting in. He and Lila both had always encouraged Danni to study any subject that she found interesting. However, Lila had made sure that Danni socialized with children her own age as well. As a result Danni was a much more well rounded child then he himself had ever been.

A pained groan drew Reid out of his thoughts. Glancing toward Miranda, he was surprised to see her rubbing her hand and wrist. "Are you okay?"

Chuckling, Miranda continued to rub her hand. "Yeah, its just been awhile, I forgot how much paperwork is entailed in enrolling a child in school. I've got writer's cramp!"

Surprised and a bit confused, Reid stared at Miranda for a minute. "As a high school teacher I wouldn't think you would have to worry about paperwork to enroll students."

Still rubbing her hand, Miranda nodded. "Normally you'd be right, but I…Yeah, I'll explain later."

Rolling his eyes Reid huffed. "Oh there's a big surprise." Despite his job**,** Reid normally didn't have an issue with people wanting to keep some secrets to themselves. He figured that with some of the secrets in his past that he was the last person to have a right to judge. For some reason Miranda's refusal to talk about anythingof importance from her past annoyed him to no end**,** though. He supposed it was her constant _'I'll explain later'_ that was never explained that bothered him the most.

Miranda couldn't help staring at Spencer as he handed the school secretary all of Danni's enrollment paperwork. While she didn't appreciate his snarky attitude, she had to admit that he had a point. She knew she had a habit of going out of her way to avoid talking about certain aspects of her past. She also knew it was her way of trying to avoid getting hurt, as if not talking about it would make it less painful.

Sighing**,** Miranda stepped up to the counter next to Spencer. Laying her hand on his back she waited for him to stop talking. When his paused and looked at her, she smiled. "You know something, you're right. You finish up here, I'm going to go wait in the car. Once you're done we'll go get coffee and I'll explain everything."


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry for the long time between updates, real life went a little crazy. Hopefully once everything settles I'll be updating more often. Also, I'm sorry for the VERY short chapter.

Chapter 6

Sliding into a booth, Miranda tried her best not to fidget while Spencer stood in line to buy their coffee. She honestly wasn't sure why she was so nervous at the thought of telling Spencer about her past. It wasn't as if she was hiding anything truly shocking or scary. Her parents weren't serial killers nor was there some other crazy, shameful secret she was hiding. Granted, she had done some things that she wasn't exactly proud of but her refusal to talk about her past wasn't because she regretted it.

Reid could see Miranda twisting the ring on her right hand back and forth in her telltale nervous habit as he approached the booth with their coffee. She looked like she was seconds away from bolting for the door in an attempt to escape. It was enough to make him feel like a complete ass for his comment back at the school. Who was he, after all, to complain about someone not being completely forth coming about their past? Hadn't he spent most of his weekend explaining to people that had been his friends for almost seven years, how he had a four year - almost five year old - daughter that they knew nothing about? Sighing he set their coffee down and slid into the booth.

"Listen Miranda, I'm sorry. I had no right to call you out like I did at the school."

Raising her head Miranda gave Spencer a half-hearted smile. The poor guy had such a guilty look on his face, it actually made her feel bad for making him feel bad.

"Spencer, don't worry about it. Okay? To a certain extent you're right. You do deserve an explanation." Sliding her ring off, Miranda stared at it for a minute. "I know you have a B.A. in psychology so I'm sure you're well versed with the different stages of grief. My question is this: how much actual hands on experience do you have with a child dealing with grief?"

More than slightly confused, Reid shook his head. "Other than the last two weeks with Danni, I don't have much direct or long term experience. Why?"

Miranda continued to play with her ring, without looking at Spencer. "That's kinda what I thought. Take it from someone who, unfortunately, does have the experience, Danni is most likely going to go through a major personality change. When the shock finally wears off, the anger will set in and I hate to say it but, because you're all she has left, you're going to catch the brunt of that anger."

Rolling his eyes, Reid took a sip of his coffee. "And you have vast experience dealing with grieving four year olds, thanks to your job as a high school history teacher."

Surprised, Miranda finally looked up at Spencer. The arrogant, angry, look on his face made her jaw clench. "Wow, Dr. Reid, I never realized just how snotty you get when you're stressed out. You're right, though; my job doesn't offer much experience dealing with grieving pre-schoolers. What I do have is a vast range of experience related to losing my father in a drunk driving accident when I was five."

Reid's eyes bugged out and he almost choked on his coffee. Carefully setting his coffee cup down, he wiped his mouth quickly before looking back up at Miranda. Her left hand was clenched in a fist and for a second he thought she might actually reach across the table and hit him. "Miranda, I'm so sorry, I…Uhh." Sighing, Reid ran both hands through his hair. "You're right; I'm stressed out and overwhelmed, and scared out of my mind, okay. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. How am I going to balance being a good father with doing my job?"

Miranda slowly opened her hand and slipped the ring she had been clenching in her fist back onto her right ring finger where it belonged. "No one can answer that but you, Spencer. I hate to say this, but there aren't any set answers. You're pretty much going to have to figure out how to make all of this work by yourself. That being said, I'm more than willing to help you out in any way that I can and I'm sure your team feels the same way."

Leaning forward, Reid rested his elbows on the table and buried his face in his hands. Miranda was right…he was going to have to figure out how to make the situation work on his own. He had had to do the same thing when his father walked out when he was ten. The biggest difference was that now he actually had a support system to help him through it. Sliding his fingers to his temples, Reid looked at Miranda without raising his head. "You're still willing to help even though I've been a complete jerk to you today?"

Snorting, Miranda reached out and tugged lightly on a lock of Spencer's hair that had fallen onto his forehead. "Of course I'm still willing to help. That's what friends are for Spencer. Besides, if you get too bad, I'll just withhold coffee until you can be nice."


End file.
